Third day of BSN.
already i feel like my mind is going to explode…too much thinking.
goodbye false worldviews and wrong presuppositions.
it’s good. i know it’s good. God is in this for sure. He did say love him with all our hearts, soul and mind.
real courage is self-disclosure, putting those walls down!
A journal entry 5 months ago HIT ME hard today:
“4/24/11 Sometimes we make the mistake of seeing our walls as strength. Built on past hurts and present fears, we surround ourselves with walls. This gives us a false security and gives us a puff of confidence thinking it’s our strength. But true courage is allowing ourselves to be open, knowing who we are- the good and the bad, surrendering ourselves to this self-disclosure is real courage. It is to know we are broken on the inside, weak in our flesh but through abiding in His love, we are ALIVE, and full of joy (john 15)”
so for me, i thought my strength was being independent and the image that i have it all together. That’s my wall.
well, here’s my anouncement: “HEY EVERYBODY!!! i don’t have it all together. I’m no good by myself. i need you guys to love me, otherwise, i’m weak. i need love.”
I’m reading Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning and he defines trust as the courage to accept acceptance.
TRUST:: the courage to accept acceptance.
wow. I thought about it for a while and at first i thought i got it good. i knew i was accepted. But for me it wasnt so much that i couldn’t accept being accepted due to my flaws and shortcomings. It was more like I couldn’t accept that I NEEDED to be accepted. I realized I didn’t want to seem needy. I didn’t want to depend on other people for love. I didn’t want to seem weak. but i am- i do long for humans affection.0
U keep taking my breath away, san francisco…1
we can’t be content with what we know now.
i think we contanstly need a refinement of the meanings of some of the cliche christian terms like-
grace. purity. worship. LORD. church. the cross. l ove.
not only going deeper into the definition, although it does involve that but refinement as in a refreshment of the power and weight of these words, a wider sense of that word- in relation to a wider sense of who He is and how beautiful He is. Ask Him to redefine some of the words in our christian vocabulary closet and let Him BLOW IT UP! I guarantee you He will. Let that meaning and the heaviness of the TRUTHS in them penetrate our hearts. let it solidify in us as we walk it out in faith, trusting in these truths and trusting in the Truth.
may it be like leaven hidden in three measures of flour, until it was all leavened or like the tiny mustard seed, planted, and it grew into a tree and the birds of the air made nest in it’s branches. (luke 13)
(feedback please. i could use some sharpening.)2
you’re real rach. ”
life changing words from ms. jo harris.